Shake that thing

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

I have come to learn a great deal about handshakes. It seems they are the code to people behind it.

Too firm – the knuckle cruncher

Jeez you feel the hand needs a Physio appointment afterwards. My experience is these people are good workers but too eager. They run before they can walk and have difficulty listening, though I find they are worth a shot.

Soft almost past its sell by date – you feel you have had a near death experience

I have had a few of these and still hired the staff or worked with them, just to experience that the handshake did indeed tell me all there is too know. Unreliable, lifeless and sometimes quite moody. Additionally the hand can be really cold and/ or clammy. Absolute turn off.

The lingering squeeze – overly eager, unnerving experience

Your initial reaction was “oh, they are almost perfect in the handshake thing, this is quite pleasant.” Then the shake turns into a squeeze and you are left wondering did they want more, are they holding on for dear life, are they trying to communicate with me and am I missing subtle signs? Normally unnerving but also leaves you slightly wondering if you missed out on some secret shake or greeting from Brownie days. It normally leaves me at an awkward spot and I tend to not be able to read them well.

The sweaty one – it sticks to you

Unless we are in a tropical summer this handshake is for the ill prepared. Casually drying the hands before the shake is quite common and not suspicious and one can easily get out of it by muttering an excuse, like “I have just washed my hands”, etc. They make me think they are always slightly caught off guard. Uneasy and overheated by work, life and someone you tend to avoid shaking hands with which is never a good sign in business environments.

Almost perfect – firm, with a purpose but with a soft release.

The icing on the cake for me is eye contact, a faint smile and greeting. Simple really.